6 hours a week can make all the difference.
How six hours a week can improve your relationship
Couples often come to therapy not because of one big fight or crisis but because they’ve slowly drifted apart and the connection feels like it’s fading.
Read more relationships die by ice rather then fire
Life gets full. Work, family, kids, unexpected stress, it all adds up and the relationship can easily slip down the list of priorities.
However, research from The Gottman Institute shows that small, consistent efforts spread over the week can make a big difference. It only takes around six hours a week to strengthen your connection.
If six hours seem too overwhelming or impossible to find right now, start small. Pick one or two ways to connect and start there.
Here’s how that time can be used with simple tips you can try
Partings
Spend two minutes each morning before you go your separate ways asking what your partner has on that day. This could be a meeting they are dreading or something small they are looking forward to. Over five weekdays that adds up to ten minutes of intentional connection.
Tip to try
Ask what kind of support your partner needs that day or something you can check in about later.
Reunions
At the end of the day spend about twenty minutes talking and reconnecting. Start with a hug or kiss that lasts at least six seconds to signal warmth and safety.
Tip to try
Put your phone down and give your partner your full attention. Take turns sharing one high and one low from the day.
Appreciation and admiration
Take a few minutes each day to name something you appreciate about your partner. This builds emotional safety and reminds you both of what is going well.
Tip to try
Say thank you for something they did that day or tell them something you admire about how they handled a situation.
Affection
Spend five minutes before bed showing physical affection. It could be a cuddle a kiss or simply lying next to each other without distractions.
Tip to try
Treat this time as a way to wind down and reconnect rather than jumping straight into sleep or screen time.
Date night
Set aside two hours once a week to spend quality time together. This doesn’t need to be expensive or elaborate. What matters is that you are choosing to be present with each other.
Tip to try
Ask open-ended questions like what have you been thinking about lately or what would you like more of in our relationship.
State of the union meeting
Spend one hour a week checking in on the relationship. Talk about what’s working what feels hard and what support you might need.
Tip to try
Start by sharing one thing you appreciated this week then move into any concerns. Keep it respectful and focused on listening not fixing.
These six hours can be spread across your week in small ways that don’t require major changes. You don’t need to be perfect or have everything figured out. The point is to stay connected on purpose not just by chance
Try one or two of these this week and notice what shifts. Small actions can lead to big changes over time.
Resources:
Download our Open Ended Questions for Couples
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