Many couples wonder whether they need therapy or whether time is enough for their relationship challenges to resolve on their own.
In my experience waiting too long can make things harder to repair. Research suggests couples wait an average of five to seven years before seeking help but therapy can be helpful at any stage. Think of it like a leaking tap. At first, it’s just a few drops, but over time, if left unattended, it can flood the whole house. Therapy helps you fix that leak before it causes major damage.
‘’More relationships die by ice than by fire‘’
For many couples, the issue isn’t lots of conflict, but a gradual drifting apart. Rather than ending abruptly or in an explosive way (with conflict or a fight) like a fire, relationships tend to deteriorate slowly over time, much like ice gradually melting.
Signs it might be time for therapy
- You keep having the same arguments with no resolution
- There’s resentment building between you and your partner
- Communication has broken down or feels strained
- You’re going through a major life change like a new baby, job transition or loss
- Trust has been damaged and you don’t know how to rebuild it
Therapy isn’t just for relationships in crisis. It can also be a great tool for strengthening connection, improving communication and making sure you and your partner are on the same page before a big life event.
Traditional vs Marathon Couples Therapy
Which is right for you?
- Traditional therapy: weekly or fortnightly sessions that offer gradual progress
- Marathon therapy: an intensive two to three-day approach for couples who want to address deep-seated issues quickly or have limited availability for traditional sessions.
In therapy, couples often realise things they hadn’t even noticed before. As I share in my podcast, a lot of people could benefit from couples therapy or marriage counselling prior to making decisions. It’s about building skills in communication and connection before issues spiral
Listen below.
One of the most common regrets I hear from clients is that they wish they had come sooner. Couples often admit that they have been struggling with the same issues for years and just thought it was normal. Relationship challenges don’t have to be endured in silence. Therapy offers a space to reset, repair and move forward with a stronger foundation.
Therapy doesn’t just help couples in crisis, it helps prevent issues from escalating. Think of it like maintaining your car. You don’t wait for the engine to break down completely before you take it to a mechanic. Regular servicing helps things run smoothly and prevents major breakdowns.
So if you’ve been thinking about therapy, it might be time to act. The earlier you seek support, the more options you have to strengthen your relationship.
Other resources to try to get a conversation going
Download the Gottman love deck and work your way through the cards
Is it too late for couples therapy?
By Marie Vakakis
Marie Vakakis is a skilled therapist and mental health educator who helps couples build trust, commitment, and meaningful rituals of connection. Her compassionate approach supports couples in deepening their bonds and creating fulfilling relationships.
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