It’s Men’s Health Week, and it’s a good time to say it clearly: mental health is health.
We know that men are less likely to visit a doctor than women. According to HCF, this delay in seeking medical help can have a significant impact on men’s health outcomes and life expectancy. When it comes to mental health, the gap can be even more pronounced.
Working with boys and men, particularly in family and couple contexts, I’ve seen how shame, silence, and unmet expectations often get in the way of asking for support. There’s still a strong belief that you should already know how to manage your emotions, relationships, or parenting. That needing help means something has gone wrong.
Let’s unpack a few of the most common myths I hear and talk about what we can say instead.
1. “Mental health struggles are a sign of weakness”
Many men were raised hearing things like man up, push through, or get over it. These messages don’t just disappear in adulthood. They get internalised and passed down.
But being overwhelmed, stuck, or unsure isn’t weak. It’s human. And pushing through without support often leads to more harm, not less.
It takes strength to stop and check-in. To say, “I’m not okay.” To make a change.
2. “Therapy is just talking about your feelings”
A lot of men assume therapy is all emotional deep dives and soft lighting. For some, that’s exactly what they want. But for many, it’s the reason they stay away.
Therapy can be structured, practical, even task-focused. It might look like:
- Walking while talking
- A Zoom session during your lunch break
- A handful of face-to-face sessions to sort something out
- A safe space to unload without being told what to do
The point is, it doesn’t have to look one way. It’s flexible and collaborative. You don’t have to cry. You don’t have to talk about your childhood (unless you want to). You just have to show up.
3. “If I need therapy, I’ve failed”
This one runs deep. For men who are partners, dads, or providers, the pressure to hold it all together can be overwhelming.
But therapy isn’t about fixing broken people. It’s about making sense of your experiences, getting support when things feel heavy, and learning how to handle life in ways that work better for you.
You don’t have to wait until everything falls apart. In fact, it’s better if you don’t.
4. “If it’s not a crisis, it’s not worth mentioning”
It’s really common for men to arrive in therapy only after a breaking point. A relationship ends. Work gets too much. Health starts to slide. Sleep disappears.
But support doesn’t have to be a last resort. Early intervention works. It’s faster, less overwhelming, and often more effective.
One way to build this skill into workplaces and communities is through Mental Health First Aid (MHFA). MHFA training helps people notice the signs of distress earlier and respond with care, not avoidance.
5. “Talking won’t fix anything”
It’s true that talking won’t solve your mortgage or get your kids to sleep through the night. But it can help you work out what’s going on, what’s getting in the way, and how you want to handle it.
We hear it all the time: “I didn’t realise how much I was holding in.”
There’s value in being able to say it out loud. It helps you feel lighter, clearer, and more in control.
6. “Men and women experience mental health the same way”
Not quite. Men often show distress differently. They might shut down, get irritable, use substances, or throw themselves into work. Standard tools like the DASS-21 and K10 are useful, but they don’t always capture these patterns.
That’s why the Male Depression Risk Scale (MDRS-22) is a valuable resource. It screens for symptoms like emotional suppression, anger, and risk-taking that are often overlooked in men.
It’s not about making excuses. It’s about making sure we’re asking the right questions.
7. “He’s just angry”
Anger is often the emotion that gets noticed. But underneath, there’s often something else. Sadness. Anxiety. Fear. Shame.
In many men, anger is the only emotion that’s been allowed. It’s familiar. It feels safer than saying, “I’m scared,” or “I feel lost.”
Therapy can help men unpack what’s underneath the anger. Not to blame or shame, but to understand and respond differently.
What can we do?
If you’re a GP, a therapist, a mate, or a family member, you can help by:
- Using open, non-judgmental language
- Offering flexible options for support
- Normalising mental health conversations
- Knowing what signs to look for beyond sadness or tears
- Encouraging small steps, not just big ones
At The Therapy Hub, we work with men of all ages and backgrounds. Some come once. Some stay for longer. Some want to talk. Others just want to not feel so stuck.
We offer support that’s practical, flexible, and focused on what matters to each individual.
If you’re supporting men in your practice or just want to learn more, get in touch. Let’s keep busting the myths that keep people silent.
Mental health is health. And everyone deserves the chance to feel understood.
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